Today's guest is Robert McCaw, author of the Koa Kane Hawaiian Mystery series, talks about the importance of good editing, cover design, and other elements of self-publishing correctly. Also covered- making the transition from self-published to traditional publishing.
Jeff Lindsay on the Dexter Finale & Return, Plus New Riley Wolfe Series
Jeff Lindsay - author of the Darkly Dreaming Dexter series, which was adapted for Showtime as the hit show Dexter - talks about the much-hated series finale, its return, and his new series featuring another anti-hero, Riley Wolfe.
Listen to the Episode Now
The Saturday Slash
Don't be afraid to ask for help with the most critical first step of your writing journey - the query.
I’ve been blogging since 2011 and have critiqued over 200 queries here on the blog using my Hatchet of Death. This is how I edit myself, it is how I edit others. If you think you want to play with me and my hatchet, shoot me an email.
If the Saturday Slash has been helpful to you in the past, or if you’d like for me to take a look at your query please consider making a donation, if you are able.
If you’re ready to take the next step, I also offer editing services.
By combining a healing salve with a poisonous sap, brainiac Haddie Kellar set out to change the world for all women—one man at a time. It would make more sense if you share what the salve does before making the broad statement that it will change the world. Not all men—just those who continually exerted their power and strength on their wives, their daughters, on strangers. Not sure that the "exemption clause"is necessary.
Fed up with continued abuse and sex crimes—not to mention blatant sexism—Haddie decided Consider writing it in present tense to make it more dynamic "decides" vs. "decided" to start a movement after discovering that her special gel weakened the central nervous system just enough to alter a man’s personality. Get this closer to your lead. This is the hook - it's buried down here. It only needed to be pressed into the skin, extinguishing urges for control and dominance, leaving the recipient calm and docile. I'm going to make the comment here that I (as a female) definitely have some urges to control and dominate, as well. Might want to consider rephrasing?
But Haddie was just one woman, needing an army to carry out her mission. So, she plucked her warriors one by one from Facebook, secretly vetting them from behind special software that concealed her IP address, assembling a group that stretched from coast to coast. Not even her loving, supportive husband, Sam, knew what his wife got up to once he left for work. This is fine, but again, the present tense would be more compelling. The way it's written now it feels like we're reading backstory, rather than the actual story, if that makes sense.
Wanting to remain anonymous, yet be recognized, Haddie’s recruits left their mark with three letters: H.O.W.—Hands of Women. When social media and major news outlets buzzed with stories regarding the mysterious society, Haddie knew she was crossing a line. Yes, men’s lives were being altered, but for the better, in her opinion. Was it so wrong what they were doing? Right now you are verging into synopsis territory. In general, this is already too long, and too detailed, to be a query.
When Sam discovered Haddie was behind the covert mission, it rattled their marriage. He loved his wife’s convictions for her fellow woman, but feared she’d be found out and then what? He couldn’t lose her, but she refused to stop, convinced that her cause created a better world for everyone. He eventually came around after reading stories from the women directly affected by Haddie’s creation.
And then it happened—a white hat hacker tracked Haddie’s identity, showing up on her doorstep. Imagine her shock when he turned out to be her brother-in-law. Will he do the right thing and expose her identity to the authorities? Or will he turn a blind eye, leaving her to continue helping women all over the world? Suddenly this story is about the brother in law, not our main character.
HANDS OF WOMEN is a women’s fiction I'm not convinced it is. This sounds more like a soft Sci-Fi or a domestic thriller novel complete at 81,500 words.
Starting out as a self-published author, I have seven books out in the market, three of them with a start-up contract publisher. Currently, I am writing book number ten, another women’s fiction. I wouldn't mention that you are self-published previously unless you have very good sales numbers to back it up with.
Right now this needs a lot of work to be turned from a synopsis into a query. The hook needs to be front and center, the details need to be cleaned out. A query sells the idea of the book - not the plot itself, or the order of events.